Apostate?

In Pentecost for a long time, I now find myself pruning out things that a few decades ago I thought were key to my spiritual walk. When I do I start thinking "I may be going apostate". There's a check that comes from my brain that says, "You used to do, say, believe or act a certain way and you don't any more".

I did.

And I don't.........anymore. Examples:

I used to embrace all things Jewish in spades. Prayers Shawls, (Tallit), artifacts from Israel, Learning Hebrew, Learning to dance in Jewish fashion. On the doorpost. Even a Phylactery of sorts. I was a Jew wannabe. I still honor my Jewish roots. I still see them as important. I honor all the feasts that were implemented in the Book of Numbers, but I've set aside some of the trappings. Apostate?

I used to chase all kinds of manifestations. Jewels. Feathers. Oil from Bibles. Oil from hands. Angelic appearances. I still welcome them when they happen, but I no longer press in to find them...they will find me. I don't see evidence that those in the Book of Acts or the Gospels pressed in to validate their experiences by physical evidences. Apostate?

I used to buy tapes, CD's, go to every conference, watch Christian TV for the latest and greatest revelation. Prosperity, living a good life, being happy and finding wholeness. It was good, but, I no longer run from place to place looking for such things. Apostate?

I have many books by famous authors who have the name and address of the Antichrist, can tell you with certainty the date the world will end, has evidences from the New York Times of the times we are in. If I just study the end times a little harder, perhaps I will not be surprised when Jesus comes back. I believed that. Then, it hit me. He is coming back. I don't know when and neither does anyone else. AND, most of the "Revelations" about Revelation are wrong. I don't disdain them, but I don't buy every word everyone says about everything regarding end times. I'm here to build the kingdom on earth to the best of my ability. So, I guess the question is, since I no longer buy the premillenial program....Apostate?

I find myself less and less a consumer of things Jesus STUFF, and more and more a walking vessel of His presence. I am driven by what he called me to be. To heal the sick, open the eyes of the blind, raise the dead, give hope to the hopeless, pronounce destinies over people and loving them without conditions. Seems like He created me for GOOD WORKS in HIM so I will do those. Everything else has become superfluous. Apostate?

I don't have a Jesus sticker on my car. Never did. I don't think externals matter. I wore a collar for a little while because I was asked to. Don't now. I am what I am, a prophet. I try to let people know who and what I am called by God to do. The title isn't as important as the understanding of the call. Yet it is important that people know who I am in Christ, so I am Prophet Gene, not Pastor, Teacher, Evangelist or Apostle. It puts boundaries around what GOD is doing thru my life. I am a rifle shot in the hands of God, not a scatter gun. I don't believe in scatter gun ministry any more. Too many people believe they are operating in all of the five fold. Scatter gun. I'm glad to operate in what HE graced me to be. So, I am singular focused. Apostate?

I don't care if I ever hear another sermon. I like good preaching, but I have boxes and boxes of great sermons I have preached or heard over the decades. I am full up to here. I no longer need to be a hearer, I have heard. I need to be a doer. Or I am dead works. So, if I don't get excited that you are going to preach a great sermon with wonderful hermeneutics I hope you won't think I am.....Apostate?

I don't listen much to Christian Radio any more. Most of the preaching is a mile wide and an inch deep. Ditto Christian TV. The music is even less edifying. No, I don't want to go back to hymns, although I have studied many old hymns of the church textually and there is some great powerful truths there. There are also some really dumb things we used to sing about. We have lost something and gained something in discarding the hymns of the Church. I love good worship when it's real, when it's rich, when it captures the power of the moment. I hate 3 hymns and a her in church where nothing happens at the end. Why not just skip the unanointed singing and just have someone read from Psalms or Revelation. It would have more power. Apostate?

I don't frequent Christian Book stores any more. Not much there, there. I own hundreds of Christian books. I will read one if I am convinced it will be worth the time and it is WELL RECOMMENDED by people of depth that I trust. If I come to one of your meetings, I will probably do a courtesy buy of your book, CD or tape. I also probably won't read or listen to them. Oh, a few I do. But mostly not. I have found myself disappointed so many times. I could give you some that I thought were powerful and worth the time, but then you wouldn't listen to them either. I have found most people aren't that hungry. It's OK. I get it. But, we need to HEAR from FATHER for ourselves and not have it filtered thru a book, tape, CD or podcast. I do. So I don't much buy Christian books any more. Apostate?

You probably think I need saving all over again because I don't jump thru Christan Cultural Hoops any more. Or maybe Christan Culture has gone.......APOSTATE?