A part of giving birth to your destiny is bringing life to the destiny of others.
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11
I once knew a young girl who seemed to have a lot going for her, but consistently failed in many areas of her life. I could not understand why – she seemed to choose failure over a successful, happy life. She was beautiful, talented and intelligent, but it was obvious that she did not esteem herself. And she continually made bad choices.
For years I could not understand why she did not see her true value as a person – until I met her mother. Her mother saw her as the biggest failure ever born and told her so. She would vomit out her many objections about her daughter to anyone who would listen to her. With her daughter present she would declare to a roomful of people what a failure she was. It did not take great discernment to see why the girl struggled so. Why should she like herself when the woman who gave birth to her did not see any good in her?
As soon as she was old enough, this young girl ran away from her mother and began living with an older man. Unfortunately, her life was poisoned by the many seeds of destruction and self-hatred her mother had been planting in her since birth.
I believe this is what Proverbs 14:1 is talking about when it says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." The girl's mother's physical house was in excellent condition, but the heritage she passed down to her child was devastating and led to her daughter living a very destructive lifestyle.
I have counseled with many people over the years who have struggled with terrible feelings of self-hatred. Usually, in the course of speaking with them, I discover that these feelings began when they were a child and many times originated with words spoken over them by a parent or other people in authority in their life.
The Tongue of the Wise
Years ago my husband and I attended a church where the pastor thought
he could help his people by continually telling them what was wrong
with them. He found fault with us and, of course, found fault with his
entire congregation. It was no surprise to anyone that membership
dwindled down to just a few people, and eventually he had to close the
doors of his church entirely.When we left that church, we were left with an ominous, oppressive sense of failure. It felt like a dagger had pierced our hearts. We struggled through life for a few years afterward, enduring one failure after another. We felt as if we were living under a curse – and, indeed, we were. The words of that pastor sowed seeds of destruction that acted as a curse over our lives.
Words are very powerful, especially when they are spoken by someone in authority over you. They can either be words of praise that breathe life into your life or words of criticism and judgment that erode away your sense of well-being. "The tongue has the power of life and death" (Proverbs 18:21).
Once we realized that the effect of this pastor's words over our lives was acting as a curse against us, we sought out ways to release ourselves from its grip. We prayed many prayers, but still this feeling of failure hung on.
It was only when we were led to another man of God who was a true shepherd that the curse was at last broken. Without knowing any of the words that had been spoken over us, he spoke the exact opposite of what had been said. He made us believe in our destiny again. He spoke life into our spirits. And through the anointing that he carried, he broke off the words of failure and planted seeds of life and destiny in their place. The power of blessing brought life to our dreams, setting us free from the power of death and destruction. Satan could no longer keep us from our destiny in God. The power of blessing blasted the power of cursing.
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18
When We Choose to Curse
God has a strange way of working the curses of others to our
advantage. He uses them to refine us and shape us, and then He heals us
through the power of His blessing.Many people in the Bible lived what some would consider cursed lives for a period of time. David, for instance, was chased by King Saul, Joseph lived for years in prison for something he did not do, and Moses was chased into the desert by Pharaoh after living a life of luxury and ease. These are only a few examples.
Actually, God used this destructive period in their lives to shape and refine them. He promised them great blessings, but allowed them to go through the process of refining to prepare them for their destiny.
In order for Christ to fulfill His destiny, He had to suffer betrayal and be given over into the hands of his enemies. But He said in Luke 22:22, "The Son of man will go as it has been decreed, but woe to that man who betrays Him." We may have to endure a period of cursing for a time, but woe to the people who curse us.
In Psalm 109, David speaks about the man who cursed his life. "He loved to pronounce a curse – may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing – may it be far from him. He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil" (vv. 17-18).
When we choose to curse others and speak negatively of them, we are really only hurting ourselves. A part of birthing our own destiny is bringing life to the destiny of others. God wants to use us, but He wants to use us to bless others. Any jealousy we harbor towards the destiny of others will actually sabotage our own destiny in God.
Speaking Life
Our mouth is a very powerful weapon and we can either use it to bring
a blessing or a curse onto others. When we speak negative words about
people, those words act as a curse over them. Even if people never
actually hear the words we speak about them, our words still have power
and can cause them to experience oppressive heaviness. However, words of
blessing can lift them up spiritually.One day I was feeling exceptionally low. All of a sudden I had this wonderful feeling shoot through me. I felt a tremendous surge of pleasure and I knew everything would be all right. Later that day, a friend of mine called and said that she and her husband were talking about our family. She went on to tell me all the wonderful things they said about us. I asked her what time it was when they had this conversation and it coincided perfectly with the time I had experienced the surge of pleasure. That, my friends, is the power of blessing!
The Blessings of Heaven
One of our greatest weapons against the enemy is the words we speak.
There is no question, then, as to why the enemy seeks to gain access to
our words. He wants to use our mouths to destroy our own lives and the
lives of others."The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by Hell" (James 3:6). We can either use our mouths as a passageway for the fires of Hell to gain access to earth, or use them to put out the fires of Hell the enemy has lit in the hearts and minds of others.
You can be God's fire extinguisher. You can put out the flames of Hell with the blessings of Heaven. And wherever you go, you will be like a fountain of blessing that brings healing and life to the nations.
Instead of giving Hell's fires access to the earth, you will bring to earth the very river of life that flows from the throne of God. People will be drawn to you like magnets because of the great power of grace and mercy that radiates from your spirit. And with only a few words you will destroy the curses of generations. This is the power of blessing. This is your destiny in God.
Please pray this with me: Dear Father, I repent of speaking negative words against others, and I ask You to stamp out those words and cause them to be ineffective. I receive Your forgiveness and mercy for my sin. Make me a fire extinguisher with power from Heaven to destroy the seeds of destruction in the lives of those You love. Help me to walk in my own destiny...by blessing the destiny of others.
Victoria Boyson
Speaking Life Ministries
Email: victoria@boyson.org
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