Wednesday, January 16, 2013

When You Lose a Child Too Young to Die

 I was contacted by a grieving mother of a boy who died.  In his teens.  A painful event.  She asked, how can I go on?  I don't claim to have all the answers, but the Spirit of God in me does.  AND this is what I offered her in that light:

I won't give you a lot of platitudes.  I have lost many.  Young people are the hardest.  You knew he was on a closer edge than most you said.  So that makes it harder.

Let me offer you what I do, did:
1 He can't and won't come back to you.  He doesn't see you.  He is aware of who you are.  But you are hidden from him by the veil between time and eternity.  You will always be his mom.  YET where he is far surpasses where you are. He waits for you but only in an eternal sense. His Days are now all one. 

2 He will want you to make the best of the years you have here.  They matter.  You matter.  He would tell you, "MOM" get on with life.  I'm really OK here.

3 He truly IS far better off than you.  Your sorrow is for YOU.  You miss him, but the hole in your heart will heal.  You won't ever forget him until the moment when you see him once again...and you will. 

4 Jesus told one of his followers to let the dead bury the dead.  This is that.  There comes a place where letting it be as it is becomes the best consolation.

5 If the roles had been reversed say in 20 years, he knows you would feel the same there for HIM.  NOW do what you would tell him to do.

6 It's OK to be sorrowful.  IF however 3 years from now you are still in this place, you need to have spiritual deliverance from a spirit of grief.  I don't think you will be there, but allow yourself to grieve without

7 There is always wisdom in everything God does.  He didn't TAKE Him, but He knew this would happen.  You have told me of your life struggles.  The pain you have had.  Recognize that he no longer has to endure what you did.  He has joy beyond any capacity to speak of it and to be frank, if you could communicate with him somehow and if he had permission to come back... he wouldn't.  Not because he doesn't love you, he does, but because he knows this is better. 

Rest in that.   Peace of God that surpasses all understanding to YOU.

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