The word says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
Sometimes that hope came in the form of a promise given by a prophecy or a belief that God would do this or that for you. You may not have actually received the word, but you believe you received it and therefore you are disappointed. Consider how disappointed the disciples were right after they saw the man they had invested 3 years of their life following and believing crucified naked and bloody on a roman cross. That was disappointment.
So how does one deal with disappointment at that level?
First, look to your Trust in the God of ALL the universe. You are heartsick. You are discouraged. You don't know if you even believe in God any more. This really stinks. You had YOUR heart set on this and now... nothing. This can be really hard. Yet.. HE is worthy of your trust. HE is worthy of your faith. IF you are having a hard time believing, that's about you, not Him. You have no idea what this really can or will mean. The doubts you are feeling right now are from the enemy of your soul. If you allow it to control you it will defeat you. You are vulnerable to being knocked off course.
The destiny God set for you required that you go thru this before it manifests. You would not have been ready to own it if he had given it to you as you expected. He always gives just as much as you can deal with. It is as it was for the Israelites coming into Canaan.
Genesis: 22The Lord your God will drive those nations out ahead of you little by little. You will not clear them away all at once, otherwise the wild animals would multiply too quickly for you. 23But the Lord your God will hand them over to you. He will throw them into complete confusion until they are destroyed. 24He will put their kings in your power, and you will erase their names from the face of the earth. No one will be able to stand against you, and you will destroy them all.
Second, ask yourself, "What does this experience make possible?" Your disappointment opened doors you don't see. Right now the closed doors is all there is in your view. You are stuck. Shake off that dust and take another look. There, right over there, is a possibility you haven't yet considered. Test the door. Look it over. Sometimes disappointment opens doors you would never have considered without getting smacked as you just did.
Third. Start Again. Release as much as you can emotionally of what just happened. It's hard but it's critical. You must consider where you are today after the disappointment as the new normal. Don't go back and try to rescue the situation or compromise or try to make right. Start again. You came THAT close to getting where you thought you were going to be. You were disappointed. Now start again. Expand your horizons. Release the situation. You are further along right now than you were a year ago. You are now stronger.
There are Bible references that relate to this worth sharing. When I went thru a very deep disappointment a little over a decade ago this saved me from going over the edge.
1God is our refuge and strength,an ever-present help in trouble.2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give wayand the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,3though its waters roar and foamand the mountains quake with their surging.c4There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,the holy place where the Most High dwells.
Yet I am always with you;This helped me a lot during those dark days:
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Ps. 73:23-26)
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD.
I will be joyful in God my Savior (Hab. 3:17-18)
This too shall pass. The rear view mirror will reveal the purposes of God. This shall become a memory and you will see the greater good in it all IF you can Trust, Look at the Possibilities and Release the pain to Start Again.
That is the word of the Lord for someone I care for who has just gone thru a very hard thing.