Friends of mine have gone thru some great disappointments. Some are in people who have let them down. They seem to be able to deal with those who don't seem to measure up.
The friends I know who are truly disappointed are those disappointed in GOD or so they think.
Here's a composite of these various friends I know.
At one time they were nominal good Christians. Went to church. Paid their tithes. Heard sermons. Didn't expect much because there wasn't much promised.
Then they were drawn into the deeper things. Things of the supernatural. Things of miracles. The prophetic. Healing. Deliverance. Density in God.
They began to hope in God. They had high hopes. VERY HIGH HOPES. Faith for these hopes. Willing to do whatever it took. Ready to trust God at all costs.
They believed for great things. In some cases it was for healing from a chronic condition. Sometimes it was for getting out of debt. Sometimes it was for finding love. Sometimes it was finding peace. Sometimes to get life straightened out, Job, Friends and all.
Then the worst (best) thing that could happen DID. They let themselves go all in. Full on. In all the glory. No restraint. They tasted all that God can manifest of himself that they could. They fell in love. They became enthralled. There was a spiritual rush that has been hard to forget and they become desperate for another.
Then.. life happens. the healing doesn't happen just then, debt is still there, prosperity eludes, love avoids and they become discontent. They begin to try to work things out with God. Get that which is between them and HIM. They aren't so much mad at God.. just disappointed. The proverb says that Hope deferred makes the heart sick. They become sick. at least spiritually.
They aren't evil bad or nasty... it's just that they have had such great times in the presence of the Lord they cannot imagine why or how things just seem to be delayed or not working out.
They have heard all the stories about how God loves to play hide and seek. They seek Him.. and they find Him.. but things seem to be stuck. It's their stuckness that frustrates and causes them to be disappointed.
I know enough of these people to know that this is not only normal, but often is the path to greater Glory still. When we stop looking at our circumstances, not matter how hard that is, we can begin looking at HIM and who HE is in us. I won't try to offer a pathway or a solution. There isn't one.
Here's what I know. You have touched the Holy of Holies. You have gone behind the veil. You have tasted much of Who God is. And now the world around you seems to be so hard to take. Empty. Colorless. Without much meaning. It's a really hard place. You are stuck between the Fullness of Glory and this pale imitation on earth.
Sure there are moments of beauty.. but they fade. You hunger for the real. The transcendent. I get that.
This is why traditional institutional religion doesn't allow for it's participants to go very deep into the things of God. They shield them from the manifest wholeness. Just giving them enough, but not too much, they know that if they get their hopes up people will become discouraged .. disappointed.
Playing it safe. and that becomes the real disappointment.
Here's what I know. Find those places where you can immerse yourself in the places of Glory. For me it is often a CD of a worship song. One friend talked of Kevin Prosch Banner over me. Often I find myself in that place with "Praise the Lord oh my Soul". All 15 minutes of it, conch horns and all. There is GOLD........
Sometimes I just get a glow of download from the throne. Sometimes I don't. When I am disappointed (and I am sometimes) I have to check myself, understand the battle isn't over and winning is the ultimate victory that waits. I begin to see little victories and give thanks as they lead to bigger ones. Thanksgiving in all things seems to be a key.
This is beyond a book or teaching. This is a revelation that comes. Going deep means you learn to tread water sometimes.
Of course you could try to just walk away.. but you won't. You will soon find yourself drinking deep. It's a welcome Spiritual addiction. The cure is found in Him. The good news is, He knows all about your disappointment. He's not upset about this in you. He's not teaching you something. It's just not yet, not now, not until the other things are in place. He is indeed working out all things for your good. You love Him, and YOU certainly are called. He will.
Lay back and bask in that. It's where He wants you to be... right now.
2 comments:
very accurate
Wow, this is where I am right now.
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