You need to bookmark Kelly's Site. This is much better than I could have ever said it. It sounds like my walk in so many ways. I know exactly what she means. I hope she doesn't mind, I was just going to link it, but it's so much better dircct as she wrote it. Burn on Kelly.
Your History With God
I probably will end up just rambling and blathering. I get so frustrated with people sometimes. I love God’s people. I love God’s servants, all of them, good, bad and just plain weird. BIG SIGH….
I am not very good at getting my point across, I have heard sometimes that comes with a prophetic gift, you run too far ahead to make sense sometimes. I have had too many people to count say, “Oh no! I understand Kelly now!”
My history with God doesn’t begin and end “with church”. I will probably get hate mail from my brethren now LOL!! I am in a church now and I am a big advocate of being planted where God wants you planted and to stay there until HE uproots you and transplants you.
Short history of me with God. I am compelled to get saved with no witnessing, in fact I hate witnessing like it used to be, I ran from them, um I still do…. Don’t give me that Jesus loves you gunk without anointing behind it ya know?
So I get saved by calling a christian radio station and am immediately taken under everyones wing spiritually. Even the weird guy who wanted me sexually pure, um dude, what about you? Why are you talking to a nice young thing like me about purity?
I hate church. I hate little lacy gloves. I hate the perfect faces. I hate no passion. I hate how they squelched it in me. I hate how they calmed me down, stuffed me into a dark closet spiritually that is. I hate big lacy collars. I drove a red sports car, I must not be saved.
I loved Jesus, very, very much. They thought I was weird, they counseled me to not get involved with my now dear husband of nearly 20 years, who was of a different denomination. They made me go through 6 months of classes before I could get baptised when I had a fire in me to get it done NOW!
I left church. I went home and read the word, found out about concordances and read up to 3 hours a day. I voraciously drank up the truth. I prayed fervently to the Lord. He started to speak to me. I wanted to commit myself to an insane asylum because I was hearing voices. I listened to bible teaching at work all day with my headphones and little portable radio. I read books, conservative books that left out a big chunk of relevant Christianity.
I ran into some serious problems of spiritual warfare. When I tell the story, no one can believe their ears, it was a nightmare involving my neighbors, I don’t want to talk about them anymore…
Looking for inspiration and help I went into a bookstore and I knew I needed to be spirit led. I learned that in the bible you know. So I was looking in the spirit filled christian isle. And got some books on prayer and being a spirit filled woman. Something has got to help me here.
Back then I used to feel things with my hands and things would get hot and I would pay attention to what it was. Sounds weird to me now but I think it was God starting to speak to me in a different way. You see I asked him to not talk to me while I was pregnant because it freaked me out and I didn’t know what to think. But this is how I ended up with the books I got, I laid my hands on them and the spines would get hot and I would pick up the book and check it out and if I felt to get it, I did.
The preachers I listened to were cessantionalists or what ever they call themselves, I hate that kind of man made up gobbledy gook. For you people who don’t know christianese that means someone who thinks all the miracles and gifts God gives us in the bible just stopped cold suddenly without reason. Not scriptural by the way. All the stuff in the bible happens today.
So anyway that is how I heard about baptism in the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues. For me, I heard someone say you had to kneel by your bed and say hallelujah 50 times or so to receive the Holy Spirit. I did so. Absolutely nothing happened. I asked God, okay, what do I do. God said to me, you have Him. So I did.
I spoke in tongues in the shower, my first word being Abba, which is Daddy in Hebrew I found out later. In one week, never hearing another person speak in tongues I was doing so fluently and with different dialects so much so I believed I was speaking in relevant languages that are on the earth today, not vain babblings. The bible says that you are speaking in languages, so I believed that. I thought it was very cool, I told everyone I knew. Even my evangelical fundamentalist old friends that thought I was backslidden because I would not attend church. They don’t talk to me anymore.
I told my old high school friends, I told my family, I told everyone. No one wanted to talk with me after that…
I was on a mission to tell people about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit because it had been hidden from me. I felt cheated by the Christian Preachers that I had been hearing. Let’s just leave out most of the bible they seemed to say! ARRRGGGGHHHH!
So it was the Holy Spirit started pestering me to go to church. Ugh. He won. I was a hairdresser at the current time. I have had many occupations, jack of all trades master of none like my dad used to say. The Holy Spirit enabled me to recognize other spirit filled people immediately. I asked them where they went to church. So I went there. They had that religion thing going on also. This particular church was AOG.
I won’t even talk about that time, not relevant except in spiritual training for what not to do and how to handle rejection and leaders speaking wrong things into your life.
The Lord led me to another book about prophets. I outright rejected it. God pestered me some more, I picked it up and read it. It read my mail, I freaked out, I think I have this gift I thought to myself. I called up the people in the book and asked them where one of these so called prophets were I wanna see him for myself and judge for myself.
So on a cold sub zero January day after having an extremely bad flu for 3 days before ( the enemy ain’t creative ya know) I arrived at a church that had a so called prophet there. To beat all of that, it was a woman ( I had been tainted even not being in church!). So I walk in and the glory hits me. I was a mess the whole entire time. On top of that the lady lays hands on me and I go home and dream. I get into real trouble at the AOG church when I tell them the dream and where I went. I am now “watched” Sheesh, I had asked to be mentored so I would not get off course, but they only gave me the secretary who knew nothing of the spirit. They didn’t know what to do with me!
So now I knew there were prophets and I was probably one. SIGH…
So all this to say, I am not schooled in speech, nor writing. I do not write sermons, I do not preach. I only minister in my home church when called upon. I minister by making banners that other people wave mostly. I am not eloquent in speech whatsoever.
But I hate measured speech. Carefully articulated, politically correct, religious jargon and BS. I HATE IT! I am not ordained by man. I am not recognized by anyone, only my kids and that only mama. Um my husband knows me LOL!
Some people read this blog, must be a God thing because I have other blogs no one reads. It kinda freaks me out.
Off track again, see I prophetically told you I might ramble LOL!!
I just want to say, let God handle the people who have “lost” their faith because of fallen leaders. We are not to put our faith in man. I never have, I do have trust issues that the Lord is healing within me. But never put all your eggs in one basket.
If that is you who lost your faith, why did you lose it? Hasn’t man hurt you over and over? God is faithful and true to His Word. You read His Word, He will never let you down. No matter how low you go, He will lift you up.
That will be your history with God. And the more history you have, the more chances He has to be faithful to His Word with you, the more stable you become. Man will always fail you, offend you, attempt to make you stumble.
Put your faith in Him. It is by YOUR faith you are healed, your faith in Jesus. Those people from Lakeland that did get healed, they had the faith in God that it takes to get healed. Not faith in a man.
Luke 17:19
Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
Luke 18:42
Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.”
Acts 3:16
And His name, through faith in His name, has made this man strong, whom you see and know. Yes, the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all.
Hebrew 11
6But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
So the body received a hard thing by Todd Bentley’s fall. Perhaps it was a God thing. It certainly shows you, who you had your faith in.
Now don’t get me wrong, there were many of us, me included that had a bit of a tiff over this. Mine mostly regretting what could have been, seeing such potential in God. But God reminded me the end of the story is not written as of yet!
Get your eyes off of man. Get out of your comfortable place. Tackle the hard things. You won’t move forward if you don’t, you’ll stay right where you are. And if your gaze is fixed on the things of this world, or in man, you are going to be sorely disappointed.
The World is shaking right now and all the people with it, with the economy, election and financial garbage going on. Listen, money is not the end all be all. It’s a hard lesson to learn. Sure we need enough to not make life so miserable but do we need enough for Rolex watches and the latest designer shoes? How about those fancy suits.
God wants us to live a life of abundance and freedom. The problem is the way to life is death. Give up your hold on your security blanket, hand it over to God, don’t make Him wrench it from your cold dead hands!
I die daily it seems and this past season was not only one of pruning for me but death. Lot’s of death. But God is raising a new thing from the ashes of the past season.
Let him resurrect your faith. Let Him write your history in God for you this day.
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