Wednesday, September 16, 2015

When Ghosts of the Past Come to Haunt

I often think of Thomas the Doubting one, I think of Peter.  Face to face with the Eternal God of the Universe present at Creation, yet they doubted and denied.

How many times later in life did they wake up in the middle of the night thinking about those grave errors.  Not to speak even of the Apostle Paul with blood of the Saints on his hands.  Did those dead souls haunt him?

I don't know about you, but I have many skeletons in my life. I wasn't always Prophet Gene. I was the most base of Sinners.  I won't rehearse them here.  Nobody but Jesus knows about most of them.

Yet my memory brings them up before me.  I know I'm forgiven, I know my sin is washed away, but I still have waves of remembering.  As I get older those old regrets are more painful.  I am more and more thankful for his redemption from who I was.

The word of God is precious at a time like this.  I need to keep remembering who I am and who's I am.  I need to remind the enemy that those old sins are washed away.

Still.. I am human.  I carry the scars of those days.  They don't ever really go away for me.  I'm being transparent because it's something that most of us who were saved from deep darkness have.. we remember how dark it was. Particularly if you came to Jesus late in life as I did, 30 years old.   Many things happened in those first 30 years.

I don't have a prophetic word.. I am simply laying this out there so if you struggle with the past, you are not alone. I also wonder if there is someone who has good encouragement in this area. 

Forgiveness for me did not include forgetting. 

3 comments:

barnabas said...

Hi Gene!
I appreciate your transparency! When I read your text I am reminded of an interview I listened to where Joan Hunter tells about of how Jesus has taken care of her difficult memories and where she now actually only remember the good things that happened during that difficult time of her life. Maybe what she says resonates.

"Freedom beyond comprehension"
https://www.xpmedia.com/video/15775/?affid=8582&inf_contact_key=117199513812635dbc0e96e262be1a7a9152e50deaa9a8c2f1c49a8234e7492b

blessings!

Aggie DeJesus said...

Since God commits our forgiven sins to theSea of Forgetfulness, when I remember those sins, I know that that memory did not come from Him, it came from either myself or the Evil One. When presented with the reality of my forgiven sins, I thank the memory for reminding me of how good God is. He has forgiven and forgotten that sin, and does not hold it against me anymore. Then I feel such prIse rise in me that I can do nothing other than praise Him for His graciousness and love and kindness and forgiveness and relationship and . . . Then, the darkness of accusation is smothered in the light of His truth. Those remembered sins almost always remind me of God's mercy. I admit that sometimes I forget and suffer needlessly because I forgot to remember that, God's mercy is stronger than my forgiven sin.

Erik Knockaert said...

Greetings Gene. I'm a big fan of yours and read your work weekly.

There are some techniques for washing away memories with the blood of Jesus. It's something we can pray through. There are also techniques to step (by faith) into one of the Court's of God, where we can repent and ask to be cleansed.

I'm still a novice in these things, but that's OK, b/c they're new. Early this year, the Lord led me to the work of Ian Clayton and Mike Parsons, which I highly recommend. Some of this will seem far-out, but as a prophet, you can verify this path with the Lord. I'd humbly suggest Ian Clayton's work on cleansing Gateways. I went ahead and purchased some of the courses, and then joined Mike Parson's beta group. Look it up, and ask the Lord. These guys teach what you're asking about.

Sincerely,
Erik