As a called one of God as a prophet it's possible to get a spirit of expectancy that every word God give me to speak carries weight and truth. That would be more true if I were not human also. Every word Father speaks to me and when he speaks thru me is true and weighty. Yet some are filtered by flawed humanity. Mine.
Any prophet that has been walking in it this long and has experienced so much, there is a soft arrogance that begins to develop. I certainly have had that happen. When the Lord gives me a word and I speak it out, I have high confidence in that word even above what seems to be every evidence to the contrary. The tension between physical evidence and the word spoken sometimes is fraught with such a great disparity that it can shake things. I have learned not to try to TWIST the words spoken to fit into the present reality. That the word spoken will mature into what it will and often months or a year later will become the new reality.
That is why I don't try to "explain" a word to someone. I don't even know what the word means. I often can't remember it. But sometimes I am blind and deaf to what is taking place.
A couple years ago an old college friend came to visit me with his wife. They were on a journey around the USA seeing the sights. We weren't close but we did spend time together in college and as adults. Hunting and fishing pals. In recent years he began to read what I wrote, he knew what was happening in ministry prophetically. He however came to see me as my friend, nothing more. Not seeking anything. We spent time talking. During that time he told me he had a serious blood disorder. My first college friend style impulse was to ask what the doctors were saying. He said they didn't know much and were medicating for what they thought it might be. He wondered what the future would hold.
I didn't do what I would normally do if this were not an old pal, if this were someone I had met and heard this diagnosis, I would seek God on the spot for a word of preparation or a word of hope and I would have laid hands on him at once for healing.
I did neither. I missed God. I didn't get the message. He left my house that day without what in retrospect was an unspoken cry for a word from God and or a word of healing. I let my flesh get in the way. Six months later he died.
What is strange is he died about the same time I DID lay hands on and prophesy to another person I had just met to say to him (a Pastor), "Get your house in order for you will not be here in a year". I did lay hands on him for healing and he was relieved of pain for a time. But he died as God said. I didn't miss God on that, it was important for this precious man to know that his time was short and that he was going to have to move to firm up his ministry and church for what was about to come. No flesh got in the way.
A couple months ago a precious woman of faith (Pastor's wife) was speaking to the church and the Lord told me that she was about to become pregnant. They have other children and are wonderful parents so this is a good thing. I spoke a word over her husband and told him that new fruitfulness in his family was about to take place. That this new gift would be a sign of fruitfulness in his ministry. It is and it will be. That was not a miss.. and I'm glad to be the bearer of good news. They announced this yesterday.
The other night a woman presented herself to me for a word. She was really burdened. Tired. Worn. I laid hands on her and said that she was a builder, that she had the hands of a person who makes and builds. One who might be in a construction trade and that God has that kind of call on her life. It seemed to be a sure word. After what was spoken over her, I asked her what she did for a living and she told me she is a Chicago Policewoman. She also said she hardly knows how to use a hammer. Never having done any construction in her life. I was shaken.. yet there is something to this and maybe in a year we will know more. I have learned to stop over-analyzing what God is saying. Let God be true.
I have not written much lately. It's not that I haven't wanted to, it's because I believe God takes his prophets to desert places to rest and reset. To prune and feed. To reshape. That is OK with me. I didn't beg for this. I simply am. God knows what He is doing.
Someone asked me once, "How do you know you are a prophet". I answered simply, "how do I know I am a man? I just am.. " That doesn't mean that the two don't get in the way of one another sometimes.
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